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FAQ's

The amazing odyssey that is life spurts out many an unsolved enigma ever so often. A typical man's response function to such a situation would be a sinusoidal expression of total exasperation. Some people choose to call these 'Kodak moments'. However there exist certain people who would not tolerate such ambiguity. These people are known as MBA's. Their curiosity led them to kill the CAT. This target segment desires to swim in the drain of trivia.

This post clarifies certain issues and answers questions that may have bugged some of us over the years. Here I present answers to some FAQ's that you always wanted to know but feared asking because you feared that you might get answers like the ones I give below.

Enjoy the Mokkai (Blunt Blade)

Q. Why does Japan suffer from a large number of earthquakes?
A. This is the easiest question to answer. Japan has the largest number of Sumo wrestlers per square kilometer on earth. As they say, the fatter you are, the harder you fall. When these wrestlers fall during a fight, it sets off a sequence of transverse F-waves that cause the earthquake.

Q. Does the Asian Tsunami have anything to do with the earthquake?
A. The Asian Tsunami of December 2004 is believed to have occured when these wrestlers were on a picnic to Indonesia for national Sumo day. They dove into the water. Archimedes principle states that water has to be displaced. This led to a giant wave that travelled till Mexico. Emergency was declared in Sri Lanka when a tourist spotted a sumo wrestler riding atop a wave travelling at 200 kmph. When the wrestler lost his balance and fell, half of the wave got diverted to India and therefore half of Sri Lanka managed to escape the wrath of the disaster.

Q. What has been the impact of the 'Ring of Fire' on the Asian Tigers?
A. This is a very good question. Let us flashback to the late 1990's. The Asian tigers were making attempts to be star performers in the circus that the global economy is. In order to outdo others, they took the great leap forward. However what happened was that they landed on the ring of fire, and therefore burnt their pockets badly. The good news here is that it appears that they are ready to be star performers once again. The tsunami washed out the ring of fire.

Q. Unrelated question. Why do menswear sell more than womenswear?
A. This is tough question. Researchers have been trying to figure out the answer for long; a recent expedition to Pothys was commissioned for this purpose. I present here several explanations that have been given by experts in the field. The appeal of the subject being very strong, experts include Historians, Mathematicians, Movie Critics, etc. Each of them have given their own perspective.

Exp1. There are more men in India than women.
Exp2. Bollywood accounts for 74% of the textile market in India. Heroines in Bollywood wear much lesser clothes than their male counterparts. Thus the difference.
Exp3. Certain menswear can also be worn by women.
Exp4. When Gandhi called for burning of British clothes, men generously burnt their dresses. Women did not. Men are still butying clothes to make up for their loss during the mass burning. Bhogi Pongal also contributes to part of this problem.

Do inform me if you bled while reading this article.

posted by Ramakrishnan @ 11:27 AM